Starlit

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To say I was fixed would be an understatement. I always fall in love as the snow falls and it’s always the same. The geometry of the falling fluff and the bitter cold that aches in you as you feel that sudden warmth and you love her hair in your hands and the way her hips feel when you grab her to kiss her. Everything and everything. The sum of the cosmos all condensed into a single point right there. In her. I never shone but she shines for me. It is this as the able and the distinct flow into one another and that was all it was but this time. It was cold and it was a case of looking through windows for those that would stutter and breathe new life into you and I have put her right at the center of things and safe in the geometry. Safe within the sigils of the magic and there is a new thing for Dillinger to look after and that is her for sure.

Able and apt she is and I was lost in the warmth of it and nothing came from without, it was all within and yet I still laid out the subtle sigils with my finger dipped in spilled beer and as I felt her hair in my hands I wrote the five major sigils of protection for her. As she was one touched and Eris wailed in the distance that she had lost me and I was gone. Even the Demiurge busily petitioning God as to the unworthiness of Mans existence stopped for a second and looked to see what this thing was on Earth and the realm he had made to show God our despicable existences. For are we not worthy of love too? Us who had been cut under knife and pricked with so many needles? Alas was that indeed a tear from the eye of the Demiurge or rage that he had lost both of us to love and was indeed himself lost. Who would know?

I do know her scars with such precision as my fingertips softly touched them and I knew I was damned for her and it was the damnation of Angels and the desolation and the barren void in me was filled again and that dark did recede and that void did fill with laughter and the blessed lips of a gentle kiss in the cold air that was lost on blonde cops who showed no real academic realisation that she did. Spread your blessed black wings baby and let the nights cry out all they wish for that sound of fear now is a quiet sound of a gentle sleeping beast as although it’s never killed here within us it is stilled and spent. Spread those black wings around me and I know that the cold floors of the blonde whore has gone and I see clearly now that the robbers of love and the digestion of the city is slowed. They have gone and I can no longer here the threats under doors and through the window bare but here and there, you. Protected and safe within me. For didn’t you eat of me and were filled?

Starshine and the way she laughs had me lost in her,  all was fantastic and safe, the abyss of it held no fear for me as what is the case for forgiveness and fear? When she becomes alive under your hands and she is a great black dragon and I hold onto her throat with something akin to delight and apprehension as she takes off into the vermillion skies of our place in the world. The chemical flight, the earths subtle delight the way she shook her hair and the descent through the frigid air, the way my hands clawed flesh and was burned by the abstract and colossal lust. The three hearted beast we trust of course and the geometry flashed loudly in concentric circles and she would never be alone again and this I write in my own blood on parchment blank and throw it at the feet of the demiurge for him to see and weep. Cloaked Wizard is what you are and no wall will keep me from her and no word will be powerful enough to keep her from me and this I swear.

This and indeed that was how we saw the world. Pleasured principles and the circus of syncophants wept and were lost. The gathering of all that was good was in us. All that was indeed heavenly and full of spirit and Father I implore and demand that you will not let the Demiurge lay his scattered hands on her again while I live and this too is written for I have scrawled these oaths too on my feeble strength and full heart. This I demand, that she be left to love and to see with me the gardens I have prepared for her and the laughter within it. This I demand for am I not also your son? Am I not your servant and am I not made of you? This love thickens the ether between us and dissolves the blackness into light and there as well we shall see as we traverse the halls of the stars that I will look to my right and she will be there. This love has no ends that even the majesty of your infinite wisdom cannot fathom and work upon the minds of your angels of judgement. You will know this in the end Father. This act is consecrated and is a new covenant will you agree?

Thus the ghost of the three thousand Eris is banished and I have been healed at last and the walls of this Prison although still high have cracks within it and I see through them the crystal sunlights and the promise of new days in the sun. The aromas of living things and the soft crackling tread of boots on the paths between the two trees and this I demand. That we be left alone and in peace.